Moments and Memories…!!

May 23, 2009

IRONIC is life… and so will be the ways to LIVE IT…!!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mishra @ 00:11
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“Zindagi mil ke bitaayenge… haal-e-dil gaa ke sunayenge,

hum to saat rang hain, ye jahaan rangeen banayenge…”

still remember the day when a group of friends… each one of them equally untalented… got together to sing this song on their college farewell… IRONIC…!!  singing “zindagi mil ke bitaayenge” on a farewell day… 

they blew it… seriously blew it…  many of them never had any experience of stage till that day… the experience was great… they laughed at themselves… on the officially last day of the college,  when everybody was expected to be in tears, they laughed… IRONIC…!!

then there’s this another day coming to mind when we had a never ending discussion on these lines by gaalib:

“humko maloom hai jannat ki haqeeqat lekin,

dil ko behlaane ke liye gaalib ye khayal acha hai…”

 

suddenly… all the IRONIES was resolved….!!!!

 

P.S.: humko ab bhi pata hai jannat ki haqeeqat lekin… hum zaroor milenge…!!

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May 17, 2009

Prachi… missing YOU…!!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mishra @ 12:13
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“bhai, we will always be together… hai na…”

“of course, no matter what we make ourselves in future… where we land… we will always be together…”

“i cant live without seeing u… even for a day…”

“u dont have to… kaha na… u won’t miss me even for a day… hum hamesha aise hi rahenge” 

she smiled… 

he smiled too…

Suddenly train jerked… it was moving… THE END… 

He pounded his feet again and again on the floor… he soooooo wished train was late today…

She started to cry… 

Both knew it was the end… luggage was in place…. she boarded the train…. He stayed at the platform… it was hard… we will always be together…

Whistle blew…

train picked up speed…

“we will meet again… hai na…”

“of course… bina mile reh bhi to nahin sakte… aadat pad gayi hai tumhaari, itni asaani se nahin jaayegi… we will meet  again… soon”

“ta ta…”

“phir milenge…”

 

 

and the promises were made… only to be kept someday…

that ‘someday’, this story will complete itself…

May 16, 2009

The Last One to FALL…!!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mishra @ 10:37
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“why…why do i have to see all this…  in this already lost battle that we are fighting, i die everytime someone i love… someone i know, dies…  Why?? I wanted to die peacefully… not in bits…”

“but u wanted to die last….!!”

May 8, 2009

DAMN… I LOVE U…!!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mishra @ 10:30
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>>Before u get into reading this, please read I WON’T LOVE AGAIN post…. This is a sequel to it…

Even if u have read it, go thru it once… pleeeeez….!!

DAMN.... I love U

“I love u Dhara…”

“kab se DD… I am committed… for 2 yrs now…”

“DD, promise u will be ther always… promise that u will help me…”

“I will, I PROMISE…!!”

A lot of promises were made… but none of them… none… were kept. A lot of believes shattered. Dhara feels like witnessing this conversation with DD everyday… and everyday she is lost.

She checks the calendar-11th June- huh, HER birthday… She always had troubles remembering birthdays. Every year on their b’day, DD never failed to call her up at the stroke of 12… He used to call her, then wait for Dhara to wish him first and replied saying “same to u dhara…”

Every year the first wish for Dhara came in this way:  “same to u”… a rare thing to hear on your birthday… but this happened every year… every year till two years back…

Thoughts flew back to school days. The first time when Dhara met DD, something told her that this thing between them, their friendship, is gonna last long- really long. DD never spared a chance to irritate her. She although showed that she has lost it again to DD and she is irritated, she loved THE DD’s ways of making her feel special. They always ended up fighting and patching up the next day only to fight again. If she didn’t see him for even a day, then it was not a day worth remembering.

They grew up together…

Dhara knew that DD will never be serious in his life… actually, he can never be… Moreover it didn’t suit him… he looked good only with a smile.

But the day when he said he loves her, DD was serious…Dhara knew it wasn’t a joke… that for the first time in his life perhaps, DD was serious…

She had no other option but to tell him that she was committed… how she was proposed and how she said YES…!!

Since then, there were no calls from DD… three years and 2 birthdays gone and not a single call from him…

She didn’t even know where he is now…

The boy who proposed her also left, without giving any reasons… ahh..!! thank god I had reasons to say NO to DD… And with him were gone all the promises whish he had made. That was the time when she wanted DD’s presence the most… but he wasn’t there…

She was alone…

TIME FLEW FOR HER… NO PROMISES WERE KEPT…!!

He got up… and replayed the same paragraph of the same song… for the nth time today…

Muskuraun Kabhee To Lagataa Hai
Jaise Hothhon Pe, Karz Rakhaa Hai…

Tujhse naraaz nahin zindagi, Hairaan hun mein…

and he  smiled again… for the nth time… today, on his b’day….

Well, job was fun… an all together new experience but nothing less than the fun of sitting idle in hostel for hours. He was the most sought after companion to have for lunch time- all thanks to his instantaneous jokes and spontaneity to react foolishly to any situation… He smiled a little and made everybody laugh… the same daily dose of humor was still intact.…


His dressup would never go with the kind of personality he is….

Today was no exception…

Dressed in suit, looking like gentleman, he looked exactly opposite the way he actually is. A smile on his face, hair not combed properly… and with a red rose tucked to his pocket, he was the talk of the office… today, on his birthday…

There was a grand party for the office colleagues… host was DD and the reasons were double fold… one of them being his birthday…

Smiling and happy faces all around… it was virtually an off day…

But, among all these smiles, among all his friends, he was still searching for a special wish… he was missing Dhara…

DD wondered if she even remembers it is her birthday today… Dhara was bad at remembering birthdays…

He was missing her… today, on their birthday…

Haah…!!! the same memories… the same joyful moments of togetherness… the same painful last two years… the same never ending wait for a response….

All started to come to him in flashes… again…

Since the D-day, life was never same for DD…

Everything looked deserted…

The only thing he wanted from life… for life… was not his, and the rest mattered least.

Whenever something good happened to him, he so craved that she was around…

Whenever something bad happened, he wanted her all the more…

But she wasn’t there…

He was alone…

Every night he expected dhara’s call… there was none.

Every hour he tried her… no replies.

He had to quit…

He knew that Dhara feels he was not the kind of guy she would like to spend her life with, and he feared that she will never know the truth…!!

TIME FLEW FOR HIM… HE LEARNT TO LET GO…!!

The long-long day was over… DD wanted some moments in isolation… public gatherings still irked him…

The party was good… and celebrations for the day were over… A lot of surprises made this day an unforgettable one…
Walking along the pavement, he was noticing every face that he came across. Every face had its story…

A kid screaming just coz he was denied another sip of cold drink… A couple standing in the deserted corner, girl crying and boy with stern looks… A lady, 50 something, walking alone and murmuring to herself… a beggar, an astrologer, another girl having golgappe… the pavement was full of faces tonight, each with a story… everyone seemed to have one… or at least he could make one from each one of them.

Wait… the voice was heard before… the voice of the girl having golgappe-

He moved towards her… long hair…

He moved closer… fair complexion

He inched closer  and… oh my god…!!

“DHARA…!!” he exclaimed

It was hard for the girl to look at DD’s face coz of the glare of the lights from behind… but that was not necessary… she recognized the voice…

MY GOD…!! Dhara… its u… of all the people in this world, its u…

HI…!!”

“Hey DD… hello”

“kaisi hai yaar…” he was breathing hard…

“mein bahut achi hun… tu bata…”

“yahan kya… matlab Hyderabad mein kyun… matlab kya kar rahi hai yahan… matlab tu to shayad delhi mien thi na…” words were not coming out properly… DD just hoped that they made perfect sense…

“Mein to yahan kisi project ke kaam se aayi hun… abbey, main Radio Mirchi mein RJ hoon… Delhi mein… tu yahan kaise…”

“Bhool gayi, arey mein to yahi kaam karta hun… Deloitte…”

“Jaise tune mujhe bataya tha… remember the last time we talked… its over 2 years now…”

“2 years, 3 months and 2 days to be exact…”

A silence followed… very unlikely of them… it continued for long… very long…

Dhara broke it…

Dhara: by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY…

DD: aah…:)… same to u yaar

And here was the first wish of the day for her… coming again from DD…

DD: chal chalte-chalte baat karte hain…

till when are u here in Hyderabad..??

Dhara: Not long, perhaps 2 more days… but it won’t be possible to meet u, will be very busy…

DD: 😛 I didn’t ask u to meet me… still try if u can take out time??

Dhara: DD, tu badla nahin yaar… the same way of saying things u want as if I want them to get done…

DD: pata hai…

Ye bata, wo banda kaisa hai… jisne tujhe propose kiya tha…

Dhara smiled… she had no answer to this… the boy was long gone… she didn’t even know where he is now…

DD too got the answer… he knew how and when to stop asking questions… As always, Dhara never had to say everything… yet everything was understood.

DD: hmm… rehne de… samajh gaya… ye bata, tu theek hai na… mein us gadhe ke bharose tere ko chhod ke gaya tha aur wo bhaag gaya…. GADHA…!!

Dhara: hmm…

DD, do I need to tell u that I missed u… all these days… U never answered my calls DD… no messages… kyun?? just coz, u thought that boy was there…??

Ohhk… must be network problem then… she too tried… it wasn’t that bad atleast…

DD: chhod un baaton ko… ye bata, hw was today…

Dhara: huh… can’t say. Till 30 mins ago, it was the worst b’day of my life… but now it is the most cherished…

DD: hey Dhara, u talk like an RJ… u know how to flatter…

Dhara: how was yours…?

DD: Great… you were the surprise of the day… a lot of surprises today… u were best among them…

Dhara: surprises like..??

DD:  like this one from my family… I AM MARRYING…!!

Dhara: WHAT..!!! girl of ur choice…??

DD: nah… arranged…

Dhara: tu arranged maariage kar raha hai.. u always had dreams of love marriage…

It must be coz of her that DD has agreed to this arranged marriage…

DD: I WILL LEARN TO LOVE HER…

She was supposed to be happy… she wanted to be, but she wasn’t…

The guilt increased many folds…

He will LEARN to love her…!!

Can I now tell him that I LOVE him…Now I realize ki of all the things in this world that ever mattered to me, I need him by my side most of all, can I NOW tell him this. Will that make any sense to him… will that change anything now…

And why, now, suddenly when he is getting married, sharing the best moments of his after D-Day life, why does it feel like a loss to me… Did I ever ‘not-loved’ him…

I love him… I surely do…

Oh god…y did we meet…!!

“tune baat ki usse kabhi… jaanta hai…”

DD: hmm, ek baar baat ki thi… achi bandi hai… u will like her…

Dhara: DD, its a great feeling for a girl to get proposed… to know that there is atleast someone who feels for her… who loves her truly… understands and appreciates her… and will continue to believe in her forever…

Before u marry her, ek baar propose karna, she will feel special…

DD: 🙂 yaar, pata hai these are the reasons why I missed u all these days… tere suggestions nahin ho to mera kya ho… will surely do that… and will tell ya…

Vaise, you are coming to the wedding… Agra mein hi hai… 29th ko, this month….

Aayegi na… kitna bhi busy ho, please aana… I want her to know each and every person who made this life worth living… I want u two to meet…

Dhara: ofcourse… pakka mein rahungi agra mein aur tere se contact karungi… tu mere ko pick karne aa jaayega na apni shaadi ke din… 🙂

DD:  koi shak… tu apna naya contact number de…

And the conversation continued for few more hours…

I LOVE YOU...!!

Dhara left Hyderabad the very same day…. Some jobs were still incomplete… but then they didn’t matter much…

TIME FLEW FOR DD and DHARA… LIVES WERE TO CHANGE….!!

28TH JUNE:

Dhara on a call: Mummy, m NOT coming to Agra tomorrow…

.

.

.

Haan, tomorrow is still a holiday but I have to pay for some delays I had made earlier… I have to stay mummy…

.

.

.

Haan, sure…  I will… Bye…

29th JUNE:

Her cell kept on ringing…. 17 miss calls…

She left it that ways….

And it started to ring again…


He had been trying her for over 4 hours now… the contact number was wrong perhaps… huh…!! So the only way of talking to her was lost…

He couldn’t do anything…

He had to quit…


HE took vows for the life ahead…

SHE cried for the loss…

LIVES CHANGED FOREVER…!!!


April 18, 2009

Life is BEAUTIFUL…!!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mishra @ 16:19
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LAST MOMENTS TOGETHER...!!

LAST MOMENTS TOGETHER...!!

 

 

Hamare Agra mein ek kahawat hai… “Laut ke jaate waqt Tajmahal ko peeche palat ke nahin dekhna chahiye… warna bande ko dobara aana padta hai Taj ko dekhne…”

 Kuch log is baat par vishwaas karte hain aur Taj ko palat ke nahin dekhte…
Kuch log is baat par vishwaas karte hain aur Taj ko peeche palat ke dekhte hain…

Last days of the college… Last days of being master of yourselves… a jack of all.

Time slipping by… not many moments to let go… days are hot again this summer… only more memorable… the long way back to hostel and the scorching heat doesn’t pain us as much as it did in the last 3 years… nights are different… y am i getting insomniac wih each passing day… each passing moment…!!

A lot in mind… a lot to express… so many people to talk to… lot to talk about… hard to express… but even harder to conceal… THE LAST DAYS HERE IN COLLEGE…!!

Before coming to college, a Bhaiya of mine told me: “Rohit, these days are going to be the best days of ur life…”.
I couldn’t help but smile: “Bhaiya… ghar se achha kuch hota hai kya?? Kaise katenge ye 4 saal??”

And today, when i was counting the days left here, these words came to me in flashes… KAT GAYE 4 SAAL… pata bhi nahin chala…
I used my fist to know the number of days in the month of April… god knows when i did that last… counting days in the month of April. And alas… just 30 days…!!
picked up a calender and looked again… 30 days in April there too… (and when i am writing this, i am counting days again… no mistake. APRIL HAS 30 DAYS)
so, it was official…
Just 28 more days of being together…
28 days of knowing what life is… what it can be… what it will be…!!

Want to write lots… seriously a lot of stuff… many thoughts come to mind in a moment and the next moment, mind is blank. Things are changing… changing rapidly… !!

Very lately, we had a lot of endeavors…. a lot of plans… some materialising into trips… others into blogs and some more others into blue day, kurta day, white day, Thanksgiving Day, Birthday… hours of hanging out together… nothing to discuss, yet a lot to ponder… Suddenly campus seems to be a place we belong to… suddenly friends are the assets we will have forever, we will need forever… priorities getting their place in life…  responsibilities glaring at us… but are we capable enough to handle things our way…??

Every time I cross a road, I run into a vehicle… so I cross roads with friends… par ab kya…??
In a group of 10 friends… in the first year, only 1 knew how to get reservations… and remaining 9, in their fourth year now, still dont know the art… But now, they have to… This time it kills them to ask their ‘the’ friend to get reservations done for them… they have to learn it themselves…
The chicken that never knew how to cross a road, has to cross it all alone…
Things are changing… changing rapidly…
We have to learn things…  and learn them the hard way- the life’s way…!!

Khair, the point is I don’t know what to write… or ‘what all’ to write…

Every moment is a start of a new conversation… conversations about how we met.. the ragging days… the love life… the long stories behind nicknames… aur bhi bahut kuch- seniors… girls… friends back home… sisters… family… school… teachers… playground…
huh…!! a big story to narrate… few listeners… and an awesome narrator… always…!!

Few more days to go… and soon all will be over.
A few more days to say thanks for a life that changed drastically in the last 4 years, yet with so much of originality still intact…
Just a few more days to say a SORRY for all the wrongs we did… to show gratitude to all those who came in our life and made it BEAUTIFUL…!!

Few more days and it will be time to wind up…
All the michievious acts we did and everything we wanted to do… soon it will be time to put a full-stop to all those kiddish ways of living.
A few more days of doing what we want to do before we are forced into doing what we are destined to do…!!

a song is playing now in my PC… and it seems so apt:

“ek hawaa ka jhoka aaya, toota daali se phool…
na pawan ki, na chaman ki… kiski hai ye bhool…
kho gayi khushbu hawa mein kuchh na reh gaya..
mera jeevan kora kaagaz… kora hi reh gaya…”

kiski bhool….?? hum bichad rahe hain to kiski bhool…?? sab chhoot raha hai to kiski bhool… hum dukhi hain to kiski bhool…??
haah..!!

Maine kabhi kisi ko rone nahin diya apne aas paas… poori koshish kii ki sabko samjhun aur samjhaoon… hamesa hasta rahun aur hasaata rahun…
But when its time for me to cry… when i will need somebody to wipe off my tears… i find none… Everybody has to go… destiny calling… par kiski bhool…??
All I can do is wear a smile and ask others to say goodbye to the best chapters of our lives… Be glad not that those we love are to go forever, but that the earth they laughed and lived on was our earth too… that we had few people we loved and adored, and that through various gestures we have showed it to them…. that they know it too…
Tears over this end…??
Nay,a smile .. 🙂
That we walked together a little while…..!!!

I do cry… i wanna cry more… i will cry lots…!! But all this behind a thin veil of smiles…
AAKHIR, har hasi ke peeche khushi hi nahin chupi hoti hai na baabu moshai…!!

I don’t believe in that kahawat thing about Taj… magar yun hi… ek baar peeche palat ke college ko dekhta hun roj…!!
Wanna come back here… although i dont believe the anecdotes…!!

When it will rain this year… i’ll miss the nostalgic smell of soil… cricket… bhutta… chai… those long walks in the rain… those hopes of the rain ruinng classes of the day…

the Summers next year… will remind me of the long walks we had… the tough project times… the shades we craved for.. the long waits for the bus…

Winters this november and december… will be deadly… with noone around to offer me a quilt…

Every new trip.. will be a gentle reminder that the ‘stylish’ way of clicking pics and posing for them is over… only ‘gentleman’ pics… life is over… Ihave lived it for myself… clicked it throughout…

Every appreciation at office will remind me of all the swearings from the friends… which were the most genuine gestures to tell me that I am special…

Whenever I will have a punctured bike… i will miss people with whom I had dragged punctured vehicles for miles at 4:30 in the morning

A holiday… will make me miss my gully cricket…

Every funny incidence… will make me miss AUSCULATORS…!! they love the way I exaggerate things and frame them into a story…

Whenever I will have any amount more than 1000 bucks in my bank account…. I would wish to be back to college…. I will miss this place…

Whenever I will see a BOSS, i would crave to make fun of him… and at that moment I will miss friends… the blog… The SAMANT…

Whenever someone will address me with a Mr., I will miss being addressed as KUTTE… DD… GADHE…

Whenever some one will call me Rohit… i will miss being called Mishra…!!

I will miss LIFE…!!

LIfe is BEAUTIFUL… y cant it remain this way always…!! 

 

 

 

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