Moments and Memories…!!

May 8, 2009

DAMN… I LOVE U…!!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mishra @ 10:30
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>>Before u get into reading this, please read I WON’T LOVE AGAIN post…. This is a sequel to it…

Even if u have read it, go thru it once… pleeeeez….!!

DAMN.... I love U

“I love u Dhara…”

“kab se DD… I am committed… for 2 yrs now…”

“DD, promise u will be ther always… promise that u will help me…”

“I will, I PROMISE…!!”

A lot of promises were made… but none of them… none… were kept. A lot of believes shattered. Dhara feels like witnessing this conversation with DD everyday… and everyday she is lost.

She checks the calendar-11th June- huh, HER birthday… She always had troubles remembering birthdays. Every year on their b’day, DD never failed to call her up at the stroke of 12… He used to call her, then wait for Dhara to wish him first and replied saying “same to u dhara…”

Every year the first wish for Dhara came in this way:  “same to u”… a rare thing to hear on your birthday… but this happened every year… every year till two years back…

Thoughts flew back to school days. The first time when Dhara met DD, something told her that this thing between them, their friendship, is gonna last long- really long. DD never spared a chance to irritate her. She although showed that she has lost it again to DD and she is irritated, she loved THE DD’s ways of making her feel special. They always ended up fighting and patching up the next day only to fight again. If she didn’t see him for even a day, then it was not a day worth remembering.

They grew up together…

Dhara knew that DD will never be serious in his life… actually, he can never be… Moreover it didn’t suit him… he looked good only with a smile.

But the day when he said he loves her, DD was serious…Dhara knew it wasn’t a joke… that for the first time in his life perhaps, DD was serious…

She had no other option but to tell him that she was committed… how she was proposed and how she said YES…!!

Since then, there were no calls from DD… three years and 2 birthdays gone and not a single call from him…

She didn’t even know where he is now…

The boy who proposed her also left, without giving any reasons… ahh..!! thank god I had reasons to say NO to DD… And with him were gone all the promises whish he had made. That was the time when she wanted DD’s presence the most… but he wasn’t there…

She was alone…

TIME FLEW FOR HER… NO PROMISES WERE KEPT…!!

He got up… and replayed the same paragraph of the same song… for the nth time today…

Muskuraun Kabhee To Lagataa Hai
Jaise Hothhon Pe, Karz Rakhaa Hai…

Tujhse naraaz nahin zindagi, Hairaan hun mein…

and he  smiled again… for the nth time… today, on his b’day….

Well, job was fun… an all together new experience but nothing less than the fun of sitting idle in hostel for hours. He was the most sought after companion to have for lunch time- all thanks to his instantaneous jokes and spontaneity to react foolishly to any situation… He smiled a little and made everybody laugh… the same daily dose of humor was still intact.…


His dressup would never go with the kind of personality he is….

Today was no exception…

Dressed in suit, looking like gentleman, he looked exactly opposite the way he actually is. A smile on his face, hair not combed properly… and with a red rose tucked to his pocket, he was the talk of the office… today, on his birthday…

There was a grand party for the office colleagues… host was DD and the reasons were double fold… one of them being his birthday…

Smiling and happy faces all around… it was virtually an off day…

But, among all these smiles, among all his friends, he was still searching for a special wish… he was missing Dhara…

DD wondered if she even remembers it is her birthday today… Dhara was bad at remembering birthdays…

He was missing her… today, on their birthday…

Haah…!!! the same memories… the same joyful moments of togetherness… the same painful last two years… the same never ending wait for a response….

All started to come to him in flashes… again…

Since the D-day, life was never same for DD…

Everything looked deserted…

The only thing he wanted from life… for life… was not his, and the rest mattered least.

Whenever something good happened to him, he so craved that she was around…

Whenever something bad happened, he wanted her all the more…

But she wasn’t there…

He was alone…

Every night he expected dhara’s call… there was none.

Every hour he tried her… no replies.

He had to quit…

He knew that Dhara feels he was not the kind of guy she would like to spend her life with, and he feared that she will never know the truth…!!

TIME FLEW FOR HIM… HE LEARNT TO LET GO…!!

The long-long day was over… DD wanted some moments in isolation… public gatherings still irked him…

The party was good… and celebrations for the day were over… A lot of surprises made this day an unforgettable one…
Walking along the pavement, he was noticing every face that he came across. Every face had its story…

A kid screaming just coz he was denied another sip of cold drink… A couple standing in the deserted corner, girl crying and boy with stern looks… A lady, 50 something, walking alone and murmuring to herself… a beggar, an astrologer, another girl having golgappe… the pavement was full of faces tonight, each with a story… everyone seemed to have one… or at least he could make one from each one of them.

Wait… the voice was heard before… the voice of the girl having golgappe-

He moved towards her… long hair…

He moved closer… fair complexion

He inched closer  and… oh my god…!!

“DHARA…!!” he exclaimed

It was hard for the girl to look at DD’s face coz of the glare of the lights from behind… but that was not necessary… she recognized the voice…

MY GOD…!! Dhara… its u… of all the people in this world, its u…

HI…!!”

“Hey DD… hello”

“kaisi hai yaar…” he was breathing hard…

“mein bahut achi hun… tu bata…”

“yahan kya… matlab Hyderabad mein kyun… matlab kya kar rahi hai yahan… matlab tu to shayad delhi mien thi na…” words were not coming out properly… DD just hoped that they made perfect sense…

“Mein to yahan kisi project ke kaam se aayi hun… abbey, main Radio Mirchi mein RJ hoon… Delhi mein… tu yahan kaise…”

“Bhool gayi, arey mein to yahi kaam karta hun… Deloitte…”

“Jaise tune mujhe bataya tha… remember the last time we talked… its over 2 years now…”

“2 years, 3 months and 2 days to be exact…”

A silence followed… very unlikely of them… it continued for long… very long…

Dhara broke it…

Dhara: by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY…

DD: aah…:)… same to u yaar

And here was the first wish of the day for her… coming again from DD…

DD: chal chalte-chalte baat karte hain…

till when are u here in Hyderabad..??

Dhara: Not long, perhaps 2 more days… but it won’t be possible to meet u, will be very busy…

DD: 😛 I didn’t ask u to meet me… still try if u can take out time??

Dhara: DD, tu badla nahin yaar… the same way of saying things u want as if I want them to get done…

DD: pata hai…

Ye bata, wo banda kaisa hai… jisne tujhe propose kiya tha…

Dhara smiled… she had no answer to this… the boy was long gone… she didn’t even know where he is now…

DD too got the answer… he knew how and when to stop asking questions… As always, Dhara never had to say everything… yet everything was understood.

DD: hmm… rehne de… samajh gaya… ye bata, tu theek hai na… mein us gadhe ke bharose tere ko chhod ke gaya tha aur wo bhaag gaya…. GADHA…!!

Dhara: hmm…

DD, do I need to tell u that I missed u… all these days… U never answered my calls DD… no messages… kyun?? just coz, u thought that boy was there…??

Ohhk… must be network problem then… she too tried… it wasn’t that bad atleast…

DD: chhod un baaton ko… ye bata, hw was today…

Dhara: huh… can’t say. Till 30 mins ago, it was the worst b’day of my life… but now it is the most cherished…

DD: hey Dhara, u talk like an RJ… u know how to flatter…

Dhara: how was yours…?

DD: Great… you were the surprise of the day… a lot of surprises today… u were best among them…

Dhara: surprises like..??

DD:  like this one from my family… I AM MARRYING…!!

Dhara: WHAT..!!! girl of ur choice…??

DD: nah… arranged…

Dhara: tu arranged maariage kar raha hai.. u always had dreams of love marriage…

It must be coz of her that DD has agreed to this arranged marriage…

DD: I WILL LEARN TO LOVE HER…

She was supposed to be happy… she wanted to be, but she wasn’t…

The guilt increased many folds…

He will LEARN to love her…!!

Can I now tell him that I LOVE him…Now I realize ki of all the things in this world that ever mattered to me, I need him by my side most of all, can I NOW tell him this. Will that make any sense to him… will that change anything now…

And why, now, suddenly when he is getting married, sharing the best moments of his after D-Day life, why does it feel like a loss to me… Did I ever ‘not-loved’ him…

I love him… I surely do…

Oh god…y did we meet…!!

“tune baat ki usse kabhi… jaanta hai…”

DD: hmm, ek baar baat ki thi… achi bandi hai… u will like her…

Dhara: DD, its a great feeling for a girl to get proposed… to know that there is atleast someone who feels for her… who loves her truly… understands and appreciates her… and will continue to believe in her forever…

Before u marry her, ek baar propose karna, she will feel special…

DD: 🙂 yaar, pata hai these are the reasons why I missed u all these days… tere suggestions nahin ho to mera kya ho… will surely do that… and will tell ya…

Vaise, you are coming to the wedding… Agra mein hi hai… 29th ko, this month….

Aayegi na… kitna bhi busy ho, please aana… I want her to know each and every person who made this life worth living… I want u two to meet…

Dhara: ofcourse… pakka mein rahungi agra mein aur tere se contact karungi… tu mere ko pick karne aa jaayega na apni shaadi ke din… 🙂

DD:  koi shak… tu apna naya contact number de…

And the conversation continued for few more hours…

I LOVE YOU...!!

Dhara left Hyderabad the very same day…. Some jobs were still incomplete… but then they didn’t matter much…

TIME FLEW FOR DD and DHARA… LIVES WERE TO CHANGE….!!

28TH JUNE:

Dhara on a call: Mummy, m NOT coming to Agra tomorrow…

.

.

.

Haan, tomorrow is still a holiday but I have to pay for some delays I had made earlier… I have to stay mummy…

.

.

.

Haan, sure…  I will… Bye…

29th JUNE:

Her cell kept on ringing…. 17 miss calls…

She left it that ways….

And it started to ring again…


He had been trying her for over 4 hours now… the contact number was wrong perhaps… huh…!! So the only way of talking to her was lost…

He couldn’t do anything…

He had to quit…


HE took vows for the life ahead…

SHE cried for the loss…

LIVES CHANGED FOREVER…!!!


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