Moments and Memories…!!

April 27, 2010

Reasons to be AWAY…!!

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when life is going good…

people stop blogging 😛 😛

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January 1, 2010

The One With College… Friends… Work… Life… and MOMENTS…!! – 2009

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mishra @ 00:12
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Just a very flashy review of what this year brought to me… actually a little too much of everything… so never wanna forget this…

Lived the best moments in college… some moments which define the worth of the four years we had in college…

had to leave friends… almost forever… (Remember one instance when Tirtha used to come to water cooler to fill his waterbottle at around 11PM during exams and then came into my room to say a ‘Hi…!!’… and then we discussed things totally forgotten… just that that ‘Hi…!!’ extended till 4 AM… everyday… and now its almost 3 months since i have heard him…) … So, left them… almost forever…

Had an AUSCULATOR’s farewell… (everything else abt this day is jst between 10 of us… all the arrangements… ANGARA treat… and that confession session that extended from 9PM to 7AM…)

Met another group of tooooo gooooodd friends: Swati, Shailesh Dewina, Ambika… , a little too early into job life… or a little too late in college life. As i say, kitna acha hota agar hum sab ek hi college se hote… and as swati always replies, kya pata tab hum dost hi nahin hote…!! Signed a pact that none of our fights is gonna extend beyond 1 hour. And this past has helped a lot, warna mein aur swati waqai mein dost nahin reh paate… fought a lot in these last 5 months… and laughed even more…. cracked jokes… saw each otehr crying.. longing for things perhaos not meant for us… made fun of collegues.. and wat not. Many a times i was the reason behind their tears… and many a times it was they who cried when i couldnt vent out…

learnt that HAKUNA MATATA and QUE SARA SARA are the two words that can reson anything going wrong in ur life…

took a resolution that there shouldnt be any contemplations in life… never… although this will make u sad sometimes… but then going sad is far better than being hopeful till the very end and see things going wrong… its always worth a try…

Started watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S. … and thankgod i did…

Read a lot of GOOD books…

For the first time had this amazing feeling of wearig something bought of ur own… Earned for the first time… amazing amazing feeling…

had days when i was happiest and saddest… in a span of 5 days…

Got a better affirmation that i shud be counsellor… or an actor… or an RJ… or anything but what I am today… convinced a friend to stay back at the last moment when she had decided to leave job… and many other times when i pursuaded people to do what they wanted to do…

Learnt how to cook… and for the first time, single handedly hosted a party for 15 people, out of which only 8 turned up… now with little assistance, i can make pulao, chawal, halwa, sevaiyyan, dal, aaloo ki sabji, poori, roti, chhole, pohey, sandwhich, gulab jamun, khichdi, MAGGi, noodles, daliya, sambhar and … and if nothing works out, i surely can call up Dominoes… 🙂

Learnt that being good always pays off…

started writing this blog… MOMENTS AND MEMORIES…!!

For the first time, celebrated Ganesh Chaturthi…

First time in life got gifts on Christmas… a sweet cute SANTA keychain… and a FRIENDS FOR LIFE mug… and another one is awaiting… sang christmas carols… hosted a farzi gameshow in office…

Not getting an invite to new year’s party was never so embarrasing… stayed back at home and only comfort was the timely calls from ghar and friends : sudky, dushy, ambika, gautam… and messages ofcourse…

For the first time my saying:  “we are single not by virtue but by choice…!!” is not what i can boast abt myself…

Got back in touch wid many long forgotten friends: shazia, mugdha. Made a lot of net friends : ani, gazal, anuja, ekam…

Also, i prepared a wishlist this yeat and trying to live up to it everyday… as said, no contemplations… and as a part of this wishlist only, i went to office in casuals last tuesday… extreme casuals, when the dress code is extreme formals…
but it was fun.. each and everything on the wishlist is… have completed 3 of the 30 wishes so far..

and there’s lot more… a lot lot…

many reasons y i want this year to end… and infinite others y i want this to continue forever…

and so, in the memory of the great year that is passing by taking away a lot i wanted to keep forever… and giving another LOT i wanna keep… forever… to all the people who ever mattered in my life… i just want u guys to know that:

“I will be there for u, when rain starts to pour…
I will be there for u, like i’ve been there before…!!”
in 2010 and for all the years to come… !!
*******WISHES********

December 4, 2009

AN UN-Grown UP…!!

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Few days back, a senior person came from onsite.. and we were having a formal introduction…

“Hi.. I am Anand..”

“Hello Anand, I am Rohit..”

“U must be a new joinee… a college hired…”

“hmm…. Yes… how come u know…??”

“It reflects from ur face… looks full of energy…”

This was something which makes me happy still… whenever i recall this conversation… makes me smile…

It actually feels good to be sort of urself when everybody expects u to mature suddenly…

For me, i am sure, this is not the kind of job i would choose for myself if given a choice… One reason could be that i have already experienced it and would like to change…

and that is how things go for me… i cant be a part of stationary… i prefer change…

right now, if given a chance to be something of my choice, i would prefer to be a Paedetrician… a Counsellor… a Radio Jockey… something which doesnt asks me to mature… which keeps ME in ME intact…!!

and when Anand said that my face reflects energy… u can understand why i was HAPPY…!!

i am not grown up… atleast till now…!!

August 29, 2009

THE FREEDOM WRITERS…!!

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I did what i always wanted to do...!!

 

 

“Once there was a lion… and a mouse. Whenever lion was asleep, mouse used to come and dance on his chest… one day lion caught mouse dancing, but being a good lion, he didn’t hurt the mouse… and let him go.

 

They became good friends…

 

Days later, when lion was hunting for food, he got trapped under a net set by hunters in the jungle… then mouse came and cut the net for him and set him free…”

 

 “So, moral of the story is, GOOD FRIENDS are for LIFE…!! and that we must help others and then others will also help us”

 

 

WELL… sometime back when one of his friends told him that he is gonna leave his job to become a teacher, Rohit didn’t know how to reason him to stay back…

And now he doesn’t want to… not any more… now, after he knows that Teaching Is Infectious….!!

 

This Saturday, when a weekend followed after long long time… there were no plans to be executed… just that Rohit had volunteered to teach a class of students in a school where nobody gets an equal shot of destiny as he always had…

 

7th class in Vivekananda Public School, Hyderabad…!!

 

It was as good as it could have gone…

 

Rohit, Tarun and Sadashiv… an inconvenient group of teachers…

And an awesome gang of students… Nikita, Nadeem, Shivaji, Afreen, Hafsa, Bushra, Nazia, Nihaal, Ramulamma, Mansa, Rajesh, Ganesh, Deepak, Kaavya, Sarita, Niyaaz, Vijay… (m missing 3 names here)

 

The so called teachers for the day entered the class with no concrete plan in mind… they didn’t even read the day’s module. The day started with everybody’s introduction… and the platform was set…

Rohit got a first taste of Hyderabadi Hindi here… “apan ne sun to rakha hota ki kaisich hoti hai wo… par bolne me hichak hoti hai saab… par abhi apan mast tareeke se bol sakta hai…”

 

Later in the day,  kids were asked to write a story of their own… AND THE FREEDOM WRITERS WERE BORN…!!!

Every kid had something to write about… something they have sometimes heard of… some incidence in their life which is still fresh…

Those who wanted to write something different started with writing about themselves… where were they born… the description of the trips thay had managed with their families… the age they will get married… the no. of kids they will have… and  even the name of their kids…

All those fables we used to listen… the turtle- hare race, the lion mouse friendship, “respect ur parents” stories, “god is always there to help u” and “friend in need is a friend indeed” stories, Thumbelina… all were back for the narrations…

One narrated and other listened…

They got  to know that “NO” and “KNOW” are two different words… where to use “HUNGRY” and where to use “ANGRY”… and that if somebody calls u NOTORIOUS, what he actually means…

 

 

Among all those learning and clapping… dancing and singing… creation and narration…  the 2 minute long 3 Hours of celebrations was over…

All of them… all 20… came and shook hands… said BYE to the most inconvenient group of teachers they had ever met… and asked them to come back again next Saturday… “SIR NEXT SATURDAY AANE KA HAI… NEXT SATURDAY TEACHER’S DAY HAI…” 

 

5th Sept was never so awaited… Rohit is waiting…

desperately…

told u, this teaching is infectious…!!

 

 

 

P.S.> while i was writing all this, i got a message… SALARY FOR SECOND MONTH HAS BEEN UPDATED IN UR ACCOUNT… man… i am loving this day…!!

May 8, 2009

DAMN… I LOVE U…!!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mishra @ 10:30
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>>Before u get into reading this, please read I WON’T LOVE AGAIN post…. This is a sequel to it…

Even if u have read it, go thru it once… pleeeeez….!!

DAMN.... I love U

“I love u Dhara…”

“kab se DD… I am committed… for 2 yrs now…”

“DD, promise u will be ther always… promise that u will help me…”

“I will, I PROMISE…!!”

A lot of promises were made… but none of them… none… were kept. A lot of believes shattered. Dhara feels like witnessing this conversation with DD everyday… and everyday she is lost.

She checks the calendar-11th June- huh, HER birthday… She always had troubles remembering birthdays. Every year on their b’day, DD never failed to call her up at the stroke of 12… He used to call her, then wait for Dhara to wish him first and replied saying “same to u dhara…”

Every year the first wish for Dhara came in this way:  “same to u”… a rare thing to hear on your birthday… but this happened every year… every year till two years back…

Thoughts flew back to school days. The first time when Dhara met DD, something told her that this thing between them, their friendship, is gonna last long- really long. DD never spared a chance to irritate her. She although showed that she has lost it again to DD and she is irritated, she loved THE DD’s ways of making her feel special. They always ended up fighting and patching up the next day only to fight again. If she didn’t see him for even a day, then it was not a day worth remembering.

They grew up together…

Dhara knew that DD will never be serious in his life… actually, he can never be… Moreover it didn’t suit him… he looked good only with a smile.

But the day when he said he loves her, DD was serious…Dhara knew it wasn’t a joke… that for the first time in his life perhaps, DD was serious…

She had no other option but to tell him that she was committed… how she was proposed and how she said YES…!!

Since then, there were no calls from DD… three years and 2 birthdays gone and not a single call from him…

She didn’t even know where he is now…

The boy who proposed her also left, without giving any reasons… ahh..!! thank god I had reasons to say NO to DD… And with him were gone all the promises whish he had made. That was the time when she wanted DD’s presence the most… but he wasn’t there…

She was alone…

TIME FLEW FOR HER… NO PROMISES WERE KEPT…!!

He got up… and replayed the same paragraph of the same song… for the nth time today…

Muskuraun Kabhee To Lagataa Hai
Jaise Hothhon Pe, Karz Rakhaa Hai…

Tujhse naraaz nahin zindagi, Hairaan hun mein…

and he  smiled again… for the nth time… today, on his b’day….

Well, job was fun… an all together new experience but nothing less than the fun of sitting idle in hostel for hours. He was the most sought after companion to have for lunch time- all thanks to his instantaneous jokes and spontaneity to react foolishly to any situation… He smiled a little and made everybody laugh… the same daily dose of humor was still intact.…


His dressup would never go with the kind of personality he is….

Today was no exception…

Dressed in suit, looking like gentleman, he looked exactly opposite the way he actually is. A smile on his face, hair not combed properly… and with a red rose tucked to his pocket, he was the talk of the office… today, on his birthday…

There was a grand party for the office colleagues… host was DD and the reasons were double fold… one of them being his birthday…

Smiling and happy faces all around… it was virtually an off day…

But, among all these smiles, among all his friends, he was still searching for a special wish… he was missing Dhara…

DD wondered if she even remembers it is her birthday today… Dhara was bad at remembering birthdays…

He was missing her… today, on their birthday…

Haah…!!! the same memories… the same joyful moments of togetherness… the same painful last two years… the same never ending wait for a response….

All started to come to him in flashes… again…

Since the D-day, life was never same for DD…

Everything looked deserted…

The only thing he wanted from life… for life… was not his, and the rest mattered least.

Whenever something good happened to him, he so craved that she was around…

Whenever something bad happened, he wanted her all the more…

But she wasn’t there…

He was alone…

Every night he expected dhara’s call… there was none.

Every hour he tried her… no replies.

He had to quit…

He knew that Dhara feels he was not the kind of guy she would like to spend her life with, and he feared that she will never know the truth…!!

TIME FLEW FOR HIM… HE LEARNT TO LET GO…!!

The long-long day was over… DD wanted some moments in isolation… public gatherings still irked him…

The party was good… and celebrations for the day were over… A lot of surprises made this day an unforgettable one…
Walking along the pavement, he was noticing every face that he came across. Every face had its story…

A kid screaming just coz he was denied another sip of cold drink… A couple standing in the deserted corner, girl crying and boy with stern looks… A lady, 50 something, walking alone and murmuring to herself… a beggar, an astrologer, another girl having golgappe… the pavement was full of faces tonight, each with a story… everyone seemed to have one… or at least he could make one from each one of them.

Wait… the voice was heard before… the voice of the girl having golgappe-

He moved towards her… long hair…

He moved closer… fair complexion

He inched closer  and… oh my god…!!

“DHARA…!!” he exclaimed

It was hard for the girl to look at DD’s face coz of the glare of the lights from behind… but that was not necessary… she recognized the voice…

MY GOD…!! Dhara… its u… of all the people in this world, its u…

HI…!!”

“Hey DD… hello”

“kaisi hai yaar…” he was breathing hard…

“mein bahut achi hun… tu bata…”

“yahan kya… matlab Hyderabad mein kyun… matlab kya kar rahi hai yahan… matlab tu to shayad delhi mien thi na…” words were not coming out properly… DD just hoped that they made perfect sense…

“Mein to yahan kisi project ke kaam se aayi hun… abbey, main Radio Mirchi mein RJ hoon… Delhi mein… tu yahan kaise…”

“Bhool gayi, arey mein to yahi kaam karta hun… Deloitte…”

“Jaise tune mujhe bataya tha… remember the last time we talked… its over 2 years now…”

“2 years, 3 months and 2 days to be exact…”

A silence followed… very unlikely of them… it continued for long… very long…

Dhara broke it…

Dhara: by the way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY…

DD: aah…:)… same to u yaar

And here was the first wish of the day for her… coming again from DD…

DD: chal chalte-chalte baat karte hain…

till when are u here in Hyderabad..??

Dhara: Not long, perhaps 2 more days… but it won’t be possible to meet u, will be very busy…

DD: 😛 I didn’t ask u to meet me… still try if u can take out time??

Dhara: DD, tu badla nahin yaar… the same way of saying things u want as if I want them to get done…

DD: pata hai…

Ye bata, wo banda kaisa hai… jisne tujhe propose kiya tha…

Dhara smiled… she had no answer to this… the boy was long gone… she didn’t even know where he is now…

DD too got the answer… he knew how and when to stop asking questions… As always, Dhara never had to say everything… yet everything was understood.

DD: hmm… rehne de… samajh gaya… ye bata, tu theek hai na… mein us gadhe ke bharose tere ko chhod ke gaya tha aur wo bhaag gaya…. GADHA…!!

Dhara: hmm…

DD, do I need to tell u that I missed u… all these days… U never answered my calls DD… no messages… kyun?? just coz, u thought that boy was there…??

Ohhk… must be network problem then… she too tried… it wasn’t that bad atleast…

DD: chhod un baaton ko… ye bata, hw was today…

Dhara: huh… can’t say. Till 30 mins ago, it was the worst b’day of my life… but now it is the most cherished…

DD: hey Dhara, u talk like an RJ… u know how to flatter…

Dhara: how was yours…?

DD: Great… you were the surprise of the day… a lot of surprises today… u were best among them…

Dhara: surprises like..??

DD:  like this one from my family… I AM MARRYING…!!

Dhara: WHAT..!!! girl of ur choice…??

DD: nah… arranged…

Dhara: tu arranged maariage kar raha hai.. u always had dreams of love marriage…

It must be coz of her that DD has agreed to this arranged marriage…

DD: I WILL LEARN TO LOVE HER…

She was supposed to be happy… she wanted to be, but she wasn’t…

The guilt increased many folds…

He will LEARN to love her…!!

Can I now tell him that I LOVE him…Now I realize ki of all the things in this world that ever mattered to me, I need him by my side most of all, can I NOW tell him this. Will that make any sense to him… will that change anything now…

And why, now, suddenly when he is getting married, sharing the best moments of his after D-Day life, why does it feel like a loss to me… Did I ever ‘not-loved’ him…

I love him… I surely do…

Oh god…y did we meet…!!

“tune baat ki usse kabhi… jaanta hai…”

DD: hmm, ek baar baat ki thi… achi bandi hai… u will like her…

Dhara: DD, its a great feeling for a girl to get proposed… to know that there is atleast someone who feels for her… who loves her truly… understands and appreciates her… and will continue to believe in her forever…

Before u marry her, ek baar propose karna, she will feel special…

DD: 🙂 yaar, pata hai these are the reasons why I missed u all these days… tere suggestions nahin ho to mera kya ho… will surely do that… and will tell ya…

Vaise, you are coming to the wedding… Agra mein hi hai… 29th ko, this month….

Aayegi na… kitna bhi busy ho, please aana… I want her to know each and every person who made this life worth living… I want u two to meet…

Dhara: ofcourse… pakka mein rahungi agra mein aur tere se contact karungi… tu mere ko pick karne aa jaayega na apni shaadi ke din… 🙂

DD:  koi shak… tu apna naya contact number de…

And the conversation continued for few more hours…

I LOVE YOU...!!

Dhara left Hyderabad the very same day…. Some jobs were still incomplete… but then they didn’t matter much…

TIME FLEW FOR DD and DHARA… LIVES WERE TO CHANGE….!!

28TH JUNE:

Dhara on a call: Mummy, m NOT coming to Agra tomorrow…

.

.

.

Haan, tomorrow is still a holiday but I have to pay for some delays I had made earlier… I have to stay mummy…

.

.

.

Haan, sure…  I will… Bye…

29th JUNE:

Her cell kept on ringing…. 17 miss calls…

She left it that ways….

And it started to ring again…


He had been trying her for over 4 hours now… the contact number was wrong perhaps… huh…!! So the only way of talking to her was lost…

He couldn’t do anything…

He had to quit…


HE took vows for the life ahead…

SHE cried for the loss…

LIVES CHANGED FOREVER…!!!


April 5, 2009

Few smiles are FOREVER…!!

Filed under: Uncategorized — Mishra @ 07:41
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memories-sweet-and-sour

memories-sweet-and-sour

                                              

“No smile is more beautiful than the one that struggles through tears…!!”

 

Aaj Rohit udas tha… bahut udas…. reh reh kar wo muskura deta tha… magar fir se udas ho jata tha…

 

Actually he had a talk with Prachi and some of the long forgotten memories were suddenly back to life…

 

It was when Rohit was in 12th class. Both of them, Rohit and his elder sister Priyanka, used to get up as early as 4AM in the morning to study.  And Rohit had this habit of sleeping everyday after they have settled to start studying, only to wake up after a slap from Jiji.

 

Jab bhi Rohit aur Jiji ladte the to wo log hamesha baat karna band kar dete the… not for an hour or so… but for days… bachhon ki tarah. And nothing was said or written… it was a protocol that was understood by both… just the scornful looks which said that the omerta was in effect.

We will call Jiji’s looks as Y: ‘tu aaj ke baad baat karke dekhna… daant tod dungi tere’

and Rohit’s looks as X: ‘huh..!! mujhe kaunsi bahut padi hai tumse baat karne ki… mat karo baat’

X and Y were often exchanged… 🙂


Hope now u understand the gravity of the situation once X and Y were exchanged. Initiating the talks then was taken as something against the self respect. Magar dono mein se koi nahin reh pata tha ek dusre se baat kiye bina. Aur yahan mummy help karne aa jaati thi.. wo doono ko bula kar aamne-saamne baitha kar ke baat karwaa deti thi…

 

 

aisa hi kuch hua tha us din… dont remember the xact date but it was in the last months of 2003.

Rohit subah uth kar ke, as usual, book khol kar ke padte padte so chuka tha aur Jiji, as always was ready with her slap. Her hand swung and BANG….!! zabardast wala thappad tha. Rohit ki aisi taisi ho gayi…

 

He suddenly was awake, never to sleep again… it took him some 5 seconds to realise what has happened. And when he understood that he was again caught red handed sleeping in the morning… X and Y were exchanged…

 

That ‘not talking to eachother’ thing stretched for some hours… then some days… and then suddenly a week was gone and no words were exchanged. Ab Rohit se nahin raha ja raha tha bina baat kiye… kitne assingments karne hote the jisme Jiji ki help chahiye hoti thi… aur bhi bahut saari batein share karni hoti thi. kuch nahin ho paa raha tha… ajeeb sa environment ho raha tha ghar ka…

 

Rohit ne apni taraf se baat karne ka full try maara… iske liye wo mummy ke saamne kuch-kuch aisa karne laga ki mummy ko samajh mein aa jaye ki both of them were not talking to eachother. But mummy was not helping this time… god knows why…??

 

fir wo mummy ke paas gaya aur directly bola:

“mummy, meri Jiji se baat nahin ho rahi hai..”

“pata hai, to kya karun…?”

“2 weeks ho gaye hain… aap baat kara dijiye na…”

“nahin, mein is baar kuch nahin karne waali. tum khud hi baat karoge to pata chalega ki ghar mein ek doosre se baat kiye bagair nahin raha ja sakta… Tum hi karo jo karna hai…”

“mummy please…”

“nahin..”

 

 

Ab Rohit kya karta…

Things were softening at both ends… jab Jiji kuch khaane ko banati thi to ab Rohit ko sabse jyaada milta tha… aur kyunki Jiji ki drawing kharab thi, to Rohit raat mein jaag kar ke, jab Jiji so jaati thi, Jiji ke pactical files ke diagram bana deta tha…

 

Lekin baat nahin ho rahi thi…

 

Fir ek din mummy ne dono ko bulaya.. THANKGOD… aur baat karwaayi thoda sa daant kar ke. Both of us were so sorry for the kind of behavior we had shown for the last 17 days… we pledged ki hum aaj ke baad kabhi nahin ladenge.

 

happy ending…

 

kareeb 1hr later, Rohit had to go somewhere. Wo ghar mein se Activa bahar nikaal raha tha, aur Jiji use see-off karne ke liye khadi thi… Suddenly he lost the control and Activa Jiji ko lag gayi… thoda tej…

 

She was furious… gave Y look to Rohit…

Rohit, finding himself innocent replied with an X…

 

And all this with in 1 hr of the cease fire…

 

Rohit started his Activa, and as he was about to accelerate, he looked back… X and Y were still there… perhaps another 17 days of ‘not talking to eachothr’

 

Fir dono ek doosre ko thodi der tak dekhte rahe… Hard looks softened to smiles… and then there was a grin on their faces…

 

Jiji smiled: “tu pagal hai…”

 

Happier ending…!!

———————————————————————————————–

 

 

These were the senseless memories… Rohit had been going thru…

 

I asked him: “yaar, ye to SMILES waali memories hain… fir tu dukhi kyun ho raha tha…”

“Bhai, those days are never gonna come back… isliye thoda sa dukh ho raha tha… and then there are other sad memories also…

If some memories can bring u smiles.. some can bring u tears…”

 

 

 

 

 

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